In this season of singleness I have learned that being single doesn't mean you are alone. It allows you to learn who you are and find yourself outside of friendships, family, relationships, etc. In the season of singleness, it is being able to allow yourself to feel emotions that you may swallow, or hold in until you explode; it allows you to explore inside on your body and mind to find who you truly are. I can't say that the process is easy, because I have cried a lot of tears and held in a lot of anger, but I can tell you whatever God has in store, you will be ready when he delivers.
For me, I don't know necessarily how to be alone. I have always had someone with me since I was born; growing up I had my big brother, in college I had roommates and a partner, and when I moved to Austin I had a partner so I have never had to experience the season of being alone until now. Right now I am in a season of life where I have to learn how to love to be by myself and that can be mentally exhausting within itself. Will it be worth it to know who Ashton is alone? Absolutely. Which means right now we have to get through the sand, to get out into the open sea.
I love the idea of being married and being a wife and a mother, but while loving the idea of those things, I have to be patient with the plan God has in store for me. You can only love someone as much as you love yourself. You should know yourself so well, when you get into a relationship who you are outside does not change inside that relationship and your man/woman is a complement to you. Most of us have never been alone long enough to love ourselves.
We are so sick of singleness, we think marriage is going to make us feel better; which can only going to be more damaging the longer it last. We are supposed to be "ALL THAT" before marriage so you can be ALL THAT together and conquer the world. You have to know who you are without someone else because once you become together, you are eventually going to start trying to find your flaws in your partner.
Take time to figure YOU out in this time of singleness. Something big I have learned is there is nothing with with the season God has you in. Don't try to get fulfillment from a relationship when you don't get fulfillment from yourself alone, because that will only make you more empty.
"I have a plan for you, just be patient and trust me." - God
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